5280 And Beyond

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(Source: hankhell)

  • Ruxin: You know what? I have an idea.
  • Rafi: Jerk off party?
  • Ruxin: No.
  • Rafi: Let's do this.
  • Ruxin: No.
  • Rafi: (unbuttoning pants) I like where this is going.
  • Ruxin: Okay, put it away and just listen to me. What if you took Geoffrey to swim class?
  • Rafi: Yes! Done! Obviously your kid needs a male role model. 'Cause I'll be honest with you, he's soft. Weak and soft.
  • Ruxin: 'Cause he's four.
  • Rafi: 'Cause he's your son.
  • Ruxin: No.
  • Rafi: You spend all your time reading books and looking at numbers and letters like they mean something.
  • Ruxin: They do, do you know how to read?
  • Rafi: I get by, alright?
  • Ruxin: What do you know?
  • Rafi: You know, like red means stop.
  • Ruxin: Great
  • Rafi: Green means go.
  • Ruxin: Good.
  • Rafi: Yellow's the other one.
  • Ruxin: Do you want to do this with Geoffrey?
  • Rafi: Yes! I'm telling you, I really want to.
  • Ruxin: Okay, then you need to listen to these rules.
  • Rafi: I'm listening!
  • Ruxin: RED!
  • Rafi: (pauses)
  • Ruxin: Okay. Few rules: no smoking.
  • Rafi: Cigarettes or drugs?
  • Ruxin: Both.
  • Rafi: Oh come on! How long does this class even last?
  • Ruxin: Like an hour.
  • Rafi: What?!
  • Ruxin: Two: no swearing.
  • Rafi: Oh shit on me.
  • Ruxin: Three: no knives.
  • Rafi: What if there's an attack?
  • Ruxin: It's children and mothers in a pool.
  • Rafi: That's exactly what I would attack.
  • Ruxin: And here's the forth, and this is the most important, you need to pretend to be me. And that's our secret so that Sofia doesn't know.
  • Rafi: Alright.
  • Ruxin: You're pretending to be Rodney Ruxin.
  • Rafi: Yeah.
  • Ruxin: Do we have a deal?
  • Rafi. Yeah, deal. No wait, do you have a sister?
  • Ruxin: Yeah.
  • Rafi: I get to do her.
  • Ruxin: She lives in Milwaukee, she's married to a dentist, and she's got IBS. So have at her.
  • Rafi: Oh I will.

On particularly rough days when I’m sure that I can’t possibly endure I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that’s pretty good.

- (via thespartanwarrior)

(Source: mattyberninger)

(Source: ash-house-wares)

quite-a-lot-of-thievery:

He walled us in. He walled us in!

Jul 9

huffpostarts:

Click through to see more 3D Chalk art that will blow your mind!

Jul 8

theleaguefxx:

As promised, a deleted scene from last night’s episode:

If you think Rafi’s “solution” with Sofia last night was gross, you really don’t want to know his original plan…

Jul 8

(Source: nocountryforoldjetpacks)